Tonight we are also playing a show with MT, and I have a lot of damn energy to play that show. It's not always like that. It's like I am totally focused on my goals (to be a better person, partner, to make ends meet)... and all this creates a bunch of feelings and pent up emotions that I am ready to release through hardcore.
It has been a tough time for me recently. A lot of everyday struggle, a lot of questioning myself and what I'm even doing in this music scene -- a stranger in a strange land. "But while the struggle continues, I'm gonna live my dream!" ... and the vegan straight edge is a beacon.
p.s. I am listening to the song "Sincerly Yours" by Omega Impure's The First in Line album. It is straight edge hip hop by the guy who used to be in DaBlueCorner and a bunch of other pioneering sXe hip hop acts. It's awesome, chilled out, melancholic hip hop with great lyrics and if you're OK with that you should definitely find this. Shit's rad.